I know it’s only November but we are getting into the time of year where most of us start getting ourselves ready for Christmas, I’m not one of these people who are really organised months before as
1. I have no idea what anyone would like.
2. I don’t want to get it wrong!
I have already touched on this in an earlier blog, birthdays also bring the same worries but Christmas has me going down into a deep spiral and last year I hit that bottom and decided I am no longer going to put myself under so much pressure. Really?
I was only chatting to my parents saying I feel like I have just put my flip flops away from the summer and the shop in our local town has been filled with tinsel, robotic Santa’s and every inconceivable item that anyone would want at the end of September. Don’t get me wrong I love Christmas and I like nothing more than enjoying the festivities but I feel doom at not getting it right.
I find it very stressful as it’s a time to be jolly and happy and you want everyone to be the same and expectations of the big day make me feel anxious as being the “Most Wonderful Time Of The Year” may be ruined by an argument or not buying the right pressie or over cooking the turkey. I can’t believe it myself that I feel like this as I have always wanted it to be magical for my children.
I already had the chat with Peter #1 husband about ordering our turkey and ham, we wouldn’t want to be without a turkey on the big day now would we. Our local butcher is brilliant and on their 80th anniversary of being open they decided the 80th person to put their order in would win the turkey that they ordered and lo and behold on Christmas eve after I had queued I was presented with a turkey it was a hilarious moment as the butchers was packed and my face was as red as a cranberry and every year now when we go to collect our Christmas order we have the same conversation…”won’t be getting a free one this year” aarrrggg. The Christmas tree, when to buy, are you going to be around to help Peter?? who is going to put the decorations up, moving furniture to fit the biggest tree Peter can get his hands on. More stress.
I went with my friend Kelly to a demonstration on how to dress your table at Christmas which was fantastic it was with a local florist Mad Lilies and hosted by a local interior designer Louisa Grace interiors premises. What a lovely evening shown how not to over complicate your table and using simple items to bring your Christmas table together…. I have already ordered my napkins and nutcracker soldier along with different colour glasses. I’m hoping this will bring me some calm and relaxation to focus on.
Many years ago Max #1 son had asked for a PSP hand-held game station I was so prepared bought it then hid it in that special place and when I went to wrap it Christmas eve I couldn’t find it, panic set in along with crying and I had the whole house pulled apart so in the end I had to tell my little boy he won’t be getting what he wanted due to my terrible hiding and it might have been thrown away and it was too late to get another. My anxiety was on overload and that feeling of “I got it wrong again”. He took this well I think then while we sat around Christmas morning I remembered where I had hidden it….. not so magical for him the poor love but least he got his PSP and a few other pressies that I had hidden with it. This was because I was being organised and bought presents early to stop the stress!
Over cooked turkey, burnt gravy, too many vodka martini’s, lost pressies, being sad regarding loved ones, not sending cards, wrong presents, these all contribute to my stressful Christmases. I know Christmas is not all about the presents etc and some may be feeling lonely, homeless, not with love one’s, money issues, poorly or they don’t even celebrate Christmas and I totally understand, empathise and sympathise but I cannot help myself getting stressed.
This year and as my children are older, Poppy #1 daughter has her own home and is having dinner with her boyfriend’s parents (a space around the table will still be waiting) but I’m looking forward to seeing Max #1 son, Liberty #2 daughter and Molly #3 daughter back from university and will all be sitting around the table with my mum and dad with my new table layout and enjoying being with family. I will try to keep things simple, joyful and calm and pray when Peter cooks the dinner it all goes well without a hitch and all will be merry.
Wishing you all a peaceful Christmas let’s get this right its one day, try not to get into debt don’t force it and I will try to keep my stress and anxiety to a minimum. Have a merry one.